Today, I turn 25.
Lol wow, just typing that is sending my anxiety through the roof. Not gonna lie, this has been the first birthday ever that I didn’t want to come. I love my birthday – attention on me?! Yes, please! But, within the past month, I’ve been doing nothing but dreading and fearing the 29th as it slowly creeped up on me. And now, here we are.
It’s not that this birthday is any different than my past ones. In fact, this one may be even better – my friends surprised me with a party bus and night in Detroit, my parents got me a cake with SpongeBob on it, and my family got me multiple Target gift cards. Life really couldn’t get much better.
The issue, though, is that I (as I’m sure a lot of you do, too) have this incessant need to compare myself to other people. Which is really weird considering I’m the first person to do what I want and not think twice… Being both impulsive and cautious is such a silly way to live.
Still, here I am. And between watching other people my age grow up and move on and become something, I somehow felt lost in the dust. It’s like the gunshot went off to start the race, and I was casually strolling with everyone before they all took off running. And the funniest part is – I don’t even like running! I’m not in a rush to grow up and race to the finish line, yet I feel obligated to have the rest of my life figured out (or at least started).
Twenty-five is that first birthday where you really actually feel like an adult. While 24 still felt safe, like it was my “young 20’s”, 25 is that marker year. I really should start buying nicer things for my house (well, I really should actually buy a house). And I really should start making a plan. If nothing else, I sure as hell should stop drinking as much as I do.
I know that comparing yourself to other people happens to everyone. It especially happens when you’re entering into something new – a new year, a birthday, an anniversary of sorts. Either way, with 25 officially on the horizon, I want to make a promise to myself (and I challenge you to do the same):
I promise to be kinder and more considerate to myself. I promise to not let the things I have or lack dictate how I feel or present myself. I promise to try harder to live my life for me and to be happy and proud of those around me who succeed and excel.
You can’t focus on what other people have that you don’t. For one, it’s unhealthy and utterly ridiculous (that’s one of my mom’s favorite phrases). And for two, they could be sitting and wishing for something that you yourself have, and instead of focusing on the positives, you get swept up into this vicious cycle of envy.
No matter how old you may feel (very old, thanks for asking), keep living your life on your terms. I know that even at 25, that’s my goal. And I plan to kick this new year right where it hurts!